{"id":4169,"date":"2020-06-08T10:21:36","date_gmt":"2020-06-08T17:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/?p=4169"},"modified":"2020-06-10T09:20:12","modified_gmt":"2020-06-10T16:20:12","slug":"insomnia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/?p=4169","title":{"rendered":"“Insomnia”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Fan Fiction Written Sadie West<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Short blurb<\/em><\/strong>: <\/em>Betty leaves for a long weekend, and Juggy spirals under the weight of his PTSD from episode 2×21. He hasn’t slept in days, causing the shakes, dizzy spells, and hallucinations. If Betty can’t convince him to sleep, he may end up hurting himself or someone else.<\/em><\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Jughead scaled the front steps and knocked on the door, pounding the side of his thigh with his fist in quick, sharp jabs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Betty opened the door and flew into his arms. The clean scent of her hair and skin surrounded him in a sweet cloud of relief. For a moment, but only a moment, he felt safe again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His face buried in her neck, he sensed her tossing exclamations and questions at him, but he didn\u2019t register much of it. Her excited words all ran together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With his eyes closed, he lost his balance for a sec.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJug?\u201d Betty grabbed him hard by both arms, and he winced. \u201cYou ok?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, of course,\u201d he assured, forcing a smile. \u201cI\u2019m just so happy you\u2019re back. How was your grandma\u2019s lake cabin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t answer, but her eyes trailed across his face and down his body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead knew she couldn\u2019t see the bruises through his clothes, but did she notice the bags under his eyes? Or the stress lines around his mouth and across his brow?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSomething\u2019s wrong,\u201d she decided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead shrugged her off. \u201cNothing\u2019s wrong. Just didn\u2019t sleep very well.\u201d The truth was, he hadn\u2019t slept in two nights. And for days before that, his sleeping had been sketchy, all starts and stops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Betty seemed to accept the excuse. She relaxed a bit, even smiled. \u201cI missed you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMe, too,\u201d he assured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou wanna come in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t a matter of wanting to. If he went inside, he and Betty would end up snuggled on the couch or the bed, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder. He\u2019d be asleep within minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The nightmares would attack\u2014tiny hands around his throat, a knife under his flesh, fists falling like hailstones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow about we take a walk instead?\u201d he countered, glancing up the block. \u201cGet some fresh air?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She seemed suspicious, but Betty eventually slipped her hand into his, and they ambled across her lawn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know I didn\u2019t want to go to the lake, right?\u201d Betty asked. \u201cI mean, not now. It was a required mother-daughters bonding thing\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know,\u201d Jughead said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot with everything that\u2019s been going on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he repeated, though he couldn\u2019t wonder if he\u2019d be as screwed up as he was if Betty had been with him the last three days. Her presence alone was a salve to his wounds, both internal and external.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But she hadn\u2019t been here, and shame at what he\u2019d done and become in such a short amount of time kept him from opening up to her now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They approached the first intersection, quiet and deserted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her hand grew clammy. \u201cHow\u2019s Mr. Andrews been?\u201d Betty asked. \u201cHave you heard from Archie?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than share some of his pain, Jughead snapped, \u201cJust peachy. Fred\u2019s been killing himself to find a way, any way, to get his only son out of jail, and my best friend\u2019s in juvenile detention for a crime he didn\u2019t commit.\u201d Jughead snatched his hand from hers and started hitting the side of his thigh, harder, relishing the spike of pain as old and new bruises complained. \u201cSo, no, Betty. Fred\u2019s not great. Archie\u2019s not great.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJug,\u201d Betty frowned, scrutinizing him again. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing.\u201d He turned his back so she couldn\u2019t see his face. \u201cGo home, Betty. I\u2019ll pick you up for school in the morning.\u201d He took a right, crossed the street, and hurried out of sight before she tried to follow him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead left his cellphone behind and spent the night at the lake, whipping rocks across the water and stomping through the trees. Betty would be calling, but how could he explain the dreams? The self-inflicted bruises? The hallucinations?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The good news was he didn\u2019t suffer nightmares so long as he was awake. The bad news\u2014he couldn\u2019t think straight as he walked through his daily life in a fog of exhaustion, his hands shaking like an old man\u2019s. But he didn\u2019t dare sit down out here and fall asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hours later\u2014exhausted, unshowered, and without patience, Jughead pulled up to the curb and rolled down the passenger window because it was important to do normal things, especially when his life was crumbling around his ears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMorning, beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practically glowing, Betty bounced into the seat beside him, gave his cheek a soft kiss, and enveloped him once more in her sweet perfume. \u201cMorning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her normalcy was a huge relief. Jughead swung into the street, feeling that tricky safe feeling again. Something about Betty took away the panic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Except panic was one of the only things keeping the exhaustion at bay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zooming down Main Street, sleepiness stole over him, beginning in his legs and crawling up his torso. His limbs went tingly, then numb. He yawned loudly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s when he realized Betty had been talking to him this entire time, and he hadn\u2019t even noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d he asked, trying to focus on the road, but his eyes were both burning and fuzzy. No matter how many times he blinked and rubbed them, he couldn\u2019t clear his vision. Not completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Betty may have said something else, but he didn\u2019t catch it. For just a second, he closed his eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her scream startled him back to consciousness. He jerked the wheel to the left and slammed on the brakes, sending the car into a one hundred eighty degree spin. Bouncing against the curb, the engine died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, my God,\u201d Betty exclaimed, scrambling out of the car like it might go up in flames. Jughead just sat there, his hands at ten and two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019d fallen asleep at the wheel. He could have hurt Betty. He could have killed her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJug?\u201d She leaned through the passenger window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, God, he\u2019d really screwed up. Betty would never forgive him. Her mom would tell the sheriff. People would find out what a basket case he was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Luckily, the car started right up on the first try and though the alignment was screwed and at least one tire was flat, he drove off, leaving Betty standing in the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead went home to the trailer park, not even bothering with fixing his car. He started a fire in the pit in front of his trailer and stood stiffly, trying to focus on the flames and not what a monumental loser he was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When his phone buzzed, he assumed it was Betty looking for him. It was Sweat Pea. He and a couple of the Serpents wanted to ditch school and come hang out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay in school, Jughead texted back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead considered running for it, but he didn\u2019t think his car would make it, and his bike was parked at the Wyrm. So, he stayed, refusing to sit. He stood until his legs cramped and his eyes felt sprayed in acid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone approached on his right, and he flinched, but when he darted his eyes over, no one was there. His throat began to itch, and he scrubbed angrily at the spot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was he still awake?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He patted his pockets for his phone, but it was gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When was the last time he\u2019d had his phone? Had his conversation with Sweet Pea been real?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He finally found it on a folding chair at the same moment a car pulled up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJughead?\u201d Sweet Pea called, examining the damage on Jughead\u2019s car as he strolled over. \u201cEverything cool?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYep.\u201d He bobbed his head. \u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His serpents spread out around him, holding their hands to the fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou look like crap,\u201d Sweet Pea observed. \u201cNeed to crash for a bit? I\u2019ll stand guard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No chance. He couldn\u2019t risk the nightmares. \u201cI\u2019m good. I just want to hang out for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow about some coffee then?\u201d Sweet Pea offered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually, that sounded great. It might buy him a few more hours of consciousness. \u201cSure, thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make some. Milk and sugar?\u201d Sweet Pea asked as he opened the trailer door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBlack,\u201d Jughead called after him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It got real quiet outside while his friend was banging around the kitchen. No one spoke. The crackling fire was the only sound until Sweet Pea returned with two cups of coffee and handed one to Jughead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hot,\u201d Sweet Pea warned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead didn\u2019t care. He slurped a long swallow of scalding and bitter brew, thankful for the double punch of pain and caffeine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEasy, buddy.\u201d Sweat Pea chuckled. \u201cCoffee\u2019s meant to be savored, not taken like a shot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead ignored him and scalded his palette with another drink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou ready to tell me what happened with the car, yet?\u201d Sweet Pea asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNope.\u201d He finished the coffee and swilled the remains into the fire. Stepping back from the flames, Jughead stumbled. He was damned dizzy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A figure approached from the backside of the trailer. Jughead scrubbed his eyes clear as Betty came into focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d Jughead looked from Betty to Sweet Pea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she said, \u201cbut I can\u2019t carry you by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d The world began to melt, starting with the sky and then the horizon, dripping away and revealing matte gray beneath. They\u2019d tricked him. \u201cHow could you?\u201d The coffee cup fell from numb fingers. She\u2019d drugged him and gotten his friends involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sweet Pea took a step nearer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, stop,\u201d Jughead pleaded, his tongue swollen and tingling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere won\u2019t be any nightmares, Jug,\u201d Betty said. \u201cI promise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world faded away until Betty was the only slice of color left. And then she melted to gray as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead stumbled back and fell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several pairs of strong hands caught him before he hit the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead came to consciousness like swimming through tar. Slowly, the world returned\u2014a soft bed, a ticking clock, and warm light on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a groan, he opened his eyes and begrudgingly admitted Betty had been right. There\u2019d been no nightmares.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A noise brought his attention to the doorway where Betty leaned, her phone in her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, God. This was going to hurt. His accident, her betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She spoke quietly into her cell, \u201cHe\u2019s awake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the hell? He sat up and leaned against the bedpost of Betty\u2019s bed, realizing for the first time he wore nothing but his white undershirt and boxer shorts. They\u2019d seen the bruises on his thighs and biceps, the pinch marks across his belly. They wouldn\u2019t understand why, but the self-inflicted pain kept him awake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there were enough drugs still in his system to make standing up too difficult to contemplate. So, he just sat there like a lump as Fred Andrews stalked up the stairs and fitted himself between Betty\u2019s dresser and the closet door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMr. Andrews?\u201d Jughead called, aghast. What was Betty up to? Didn\u2019t she realize how humiliating it was being seen like this? Not to mention the guilt Jughead carried over Archie\u2019s sentencing. How could she invite him here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before Jughead could say a word, his dad filed in, followed by Sweet Pea, Cheryl, Veronica, Toni, Mary Andrews, and a string of Serpents. They crowded around the periphery of the room.
Jughead panicked, pulling his knees up tight. What was going on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mr. Andrews cleared his throat and crossed the room to perch awkwardly on the edge of the bed. \u201cJughead?\u201d he began. \u201cYou need to take care of yourself, son. Archie needs you. And I need you to help me find a way to get him out. You need to be strong, do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead nodded through a veil of tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His dad was next. As Mr. Andrews left the room, F.P. took his place on the bed. \u201cJug, I know what you went through with Penny. I know how hard it must have been. God, it was hard for me to see you beaten half to death.\u201d He coughed into his fist, and Jughead wrapped his arms around his knees. \u201cIt\u2019ll take time to get over it, and no one expects it to happen overnight. But you have to swear to me you\u2019ll take care of yourself in the meantime.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead couldn\u2019t speak. He nodded jerkily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sweet Pea punched his arm. \u201cHope you don\u2019t hold the coffee thing against me. We need you, man. We all do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheryl kissed the top of his head. \u201cI care about you, you know that, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMe, too.\u201d Toni gave the back of his neck a gentle massage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mrs. Andrews looked solemnly down at him. \u201cYou\u2019re the toughest kid I know,\u201d she declared. \u201cI\u2019ve watched you grow up, and I\u2019ve always thought so.\u201d Her expression softened into a sad smile. \u201cI just want to give that tough little kid a hug and say, I know you\u2019ve been through hell.\u201d She wrapped him in her arms. \u201cBut you can\u2019t break now. I need you. Archie needs you.\u201d Rustling his hair, she too left until it was just him and Betty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat was cruel,\u201d he hissed. \u201cI don\u2019t need an intervention.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ignoring him, she sat on the edge of the bed. \u201cI talked to a counselor who specializes in PTSD. This is her card.\u201d She set a small white rectangle on the bedside table. \u201cShe has a standing appointment for you every Wednesday after school. I hope you decide to go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He couldn\u2019t answer. Words were all bottled up inside. Things he couldn\u2019t even tell Betty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry I drugged you,\u201d she said, tears in her eyes, \u201cbut you could have killed both of us. You haven\u2019t slept in days, I checked with F.P. Sleep deprivation can, well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The cork in his throat popped, and bile gathered at the back of his tongue. \u201cThe nightmares won\u2019t stop,\u201d he told her bitterly. \u201cI see Archie in juvenile detention. And instead of Penny\u2019s goons beating me to a pulp, they\u2019re doing it to Archie.\u201d Jughead\u2019s gaze snapped up and lit upon hers. \u201cI was conscious when Penny took my serpent tattoo. I remember all of it. And when she was done, she climbed on my chest and choked me until I blacked out.\u201d Jughead buried his head, too affected by the memories to be seen by anyone, even her. \u201cI thought I was going to die. I really thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going to figure a way through this, Juggy.\u201d He felt rather than saw her climb into bed beside him. \u201cBecause you\u2019re important, and you\u2019re loved, and I need you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jughead felt it again, that illogical sensation of safety. Her presence was keeping the demons at bay. So, though he\u2019d slept for God knew how long, Jughead slithered down under the covers and pulled her sweet-smelling body against his, feeling tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m just so freaking scared,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI can\u2019t stop feeling scared.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stroking his hair from his forehead, Betty swore, \u201cWe\u2019ll find a way. Together. Deal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTogether.\u201d He liked the sound of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thanks for reading!<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

<3 Anna & Sadie<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Like vampires, shifters, and cheap books? Join my monthly newsletter<\/a> today.<\/em> <3 Anna<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fan Fiction Written Sadie West Short blurb: Betty leaves for a long weekend, and Juggy spirals under the weight of his PTSD from episode 2×21. He hasn’t slept in days, causing the shakes, dizzy spells, and hallucinations. If Betty can’t convince him to sleep, he may end up hurting himself or someone else. Jughead scaled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"\"Insomnia\" Fan Fiction","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[826],"tags":[869,705,732,704,706],"class_list":["post-4169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fan-fiction","tag-archive-of-our-own","tag-betty-cooper","tag-fan-fiction","tag-jughead-jones","tag-riverdale"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"views":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s2Wkl2-insomnia","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4169"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4293,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4169\/revisions\/4293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annaabner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}